We’ve been back from sleazy-cheezy Las Vegas for a week or so now.  But, I must comment on the entertainment options we observed while there.  These were the shows we saw most advertised:

  1. Carrot Top At Luxor
  2. Danny Gans
  3. Hans Klok featuring Pamela Anderson
  4. Blue Man Group
  5. Gordie Brown
  6. Toni Braxton:  Revealed
  7. Celine Dion
  8. Various Cirque du Soleil shows

Upon arrival in Las Vegas at the airport, I was in shock when I saw so many advertisements for Carrot Top’s show.  I mean, really, who the hell wants to see Carrot Top do anything???  His sneering face was on EVERYTHING, including taxi cabs!  After becoming really tired of seeing Carrot Top posters and ads, I asked a bartender at Bellagio what the punishment would be if I spray-painted all over some of them.  He laughed and responded, “It won’t be illegal if you don’t get caught.”

The next thing I thought was, “Who the heck is Danny Gans?”  We found out from a taxi driver upon leaving Las Vegas that he’s an impressionist.  Thrilling.

Hans Klok?  Featuring Pamela Anderson?  Well, I know who Pamela Anderson is with her, uh, decolletage.  The billboards depicted her floating with Hans’ hands gesturing in a magical sort-of way with white starburst things over her various private parts.  Hmmm, OK, but I really don’t want to pay money to see Pamela Anderson’s boobs floating around in Las Vegas.  And I sure don’t want to pay money to see someone who’s name could be “clock hands”.

Blue Man Group.  ‘Nuff said.  No way.  They look sweaty under their blue makeup.

Gordie Brown???  OK, who the heck is this???  Hmmm, according to his official website, he’s another impressionist.  And, apparently he’s been on some tv show titled, “Twice In A Lifetime.”  I’m still clueless.  I’ll pass on the Gordie Brown experience, too.

Well, I guess Toni Braxton would be interesting since I’ve heard she’s “nasty” in her shows.  At least that’s what Ben Larkin from Atlanta said about her when he saw her in concert about 10 years ago.  Her enormous image is plastered all over the entire side of the Flamingo hotel in direct view of the entrance to Caesar’s Palace.  I just can’t get the Wigstock “Lady Bunny” version of Toni Braxton out of my head, so I’ll pass on her show, too.

Celine Dion:  This show costs $5,000 per ticket.  We saw La Cage at the nasty Riviera, where they impersonated Celine perfectly, and saved our money.  By the way, they will probably blow up the Riveria any day now like they did the Frontier.

We did see Cirque du Soleil’s “Beatles Love” show at Mirage and it was very good.  Fortunately, the tickets were a gift from Lee’s company.  The price printed on the tickets was $150 each.  Personally, I’d rather have three bottles of Veuve Cliquot and entertain myself, but what the heck — it was free.