A Day In The Life Of Liza (Kitty)

Note By Paul:  This post is actually being published posthumously for Liza kitty. Sadly, she went over the rainbow bridge in early 2018.  Paul discovered this unpublished draft post from years back while working on this blog and decided to post it.

 Hello, this is Liza the kitty and this is my guest blog entry which details my most interesting and wonderful daily life activites.  As you can see from my gorgeous photo, I’m a full figured tuxedo kitty.  Here’s an interesting tid-bit about me:  When Paul bailed me out of jail (I have no idea why I was in jail to begin with), the jailer had named me “Houdini”.  You see, I’m quite the escape artist so the name was fitting — but that name is for a boy … and I’m most certainly a girl.  Paul decided to name me Liza after one of his favorite entertainers.  The new name is most appropriate as I’m very entertaining.

7:00am – Get out of bed and follow Paul to kitchen and see what’s for breakfast; refuse to jump up to designated kitty feeding area (safe from dogs) and complain loudly when he picks me up and places me in the designated kitty feeding area. Daintily eat one spare teaspoon of tuna.
7:03am – Wait for Louie Kitty to finish his gluttonous breakfast and then smack him in the face and body slam him.
7:06am – Go down to basement and terrorize Bella Kitty.
7:10am – Go back to family room and lounge in the sun with my legs up in the air right in the middle of the dog’s bed. The dogs don’t need to use the bed, anyway.
8:15am – Befriend the cable repair guy, then rabbit foot him with my hind claws.
8:30am – Terrorize Bella Kitty some more in Lee’s office and make a big mess on his desk. Be sure to knock important papers off the desk onto the floor. When Paul yells at me, pretend I did nothing and slink onto the living room window sill while looking innocent. Watch birds and squirrels.
9:00am – Go lay on the dog cushion under Paul’s desk before Romeo dog gets there. Nap for a while due to early morning activity exhaustion.
10:30am – Move to guest bedroom upstairs and sleep for several hours.
1:30pm – Meow loudly at the back door to be let out.
1:35pm – Search for bird and/or mouse to kill in back yard.
1:37pm – Jump over fence into neighbor’s yard since there might be more prey over there.
1:40pm – Lay on neighbor’s back deck for a while.
2:35pm – Chase squirrel across street while ignoring oncoming car. Subtract one life from current count of six available. Five out of nine cat lives left.
3:00pm – Return home and meow loudly at back door to be let in.
3:05pm – Eat some dry cat food.
3:10pm – Take a kitty bath on the sofa.
3:30pm – Take another nap.
5:30pm – Go outside with the humans while they have cocktails. Attempt to catch dragonfly.
7:00pm – Go inside with the humans and stare at them while they prepare and eat dinner.
9:00pm – Follow Paul and dogs upstairs to bed. Clean the dog’s nasty face. Retire for the night.